Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Prostituting High School

Original Posting

Someone could make a fortune creating fake high schools, where people could go back and relive their glory days, or maybe live as someone they always wished that they could be.

People who were popular in High School and then experienced an adulthood of disappointment could return and have actors pretend that he's still a big shot. Intelligent underachievers could go back and have teachers consistently praise them for their brilliant work. Ugly girls could go back and have actors leer at them as though they were a beautiful chunk of jailbait. I imagine that you can come up with an example for every high school clique; some wanting to relive some of the best years of their life and some wanting to recreate some of the worst years of their life.

Perhaps the best part of such an endeavor is that many of the customers could probably be persuaded to become actors themselves, simply by offering discounts to customers who agree to gratify other customers. For example, one of the people who are there to have their work praised by a teacher could get a ten percent discount if he agrees to stare at the ugly girl and awkwardly ask her out, and then receive another discount if he agrees to make a bully feel intimidating, and so on. It's possible that some would even volunteer to act as teachers, due to whatever need they may have, and therefore cut the cost even further.

By starting the fees as prohibitively expensive, and then offering discount upon discount in exchange for agreeing to satisfy other patrons, the owner of this endeavor would be getting paid without needing to hire a large staff. If he's careful and intelligent, he could eventually arrange the customers so that they all begin satisfying each others needs in exchange for discounts. It would be necessary to rent the location or to purchase a location for the campus, and of course it would probably be necessary to hire at least a few actors in order to keep control of the situation, and a few security guards to keep the peace, but apart from that you could just sit back and collect 'tuition.'

And they would come. The people who were disappointed by life and look back at High School as their paradise would begin signing up. Classes would probably take place at night, so that students could work during the day. They could get together and roleplay, and it would be pathetic, and they would be mocked, and the man who thought of it would become rich.

If anyone out there has enough money to purchase or rent a campus, all I request is ten percent of the profits in exchange for coming up with the idea.