The Restrictive Nature of a Meaning to Life

Original Posting

If it were your decision whether or not there was an objective meaning of life, which would you choose? Not which meaning, mind you, that's out of your hands, you only get to choose whether or not such a meaning exists. Would you prefer life with a definite, objective meaning/purpose/end or would you prefer life without such a thing?

I have always figured that life would be better with an objective meaning for us to order our lives, principles, and ethics around, but at the same time just imagine how restrictive this would be. If there is an objective purpose to life, then living our life for any other end or any other purpose would mean living incorrectly (in fact, it would be what made living incorrectly possible). Living for another reason than the proper reason would be akin to playing soccer for the sake of patting your teammates on the ass instead of playing for... whatever the purpose of soccer is.

An objective meaning to life invalidates all other purposes we may give to our life. It means that a man living for the purpose is living an objectively better life than any man who does not.

On the other hand: if we say that there is no objective meaning to life except for the meaning we choose to give it, it becomes impossible to say that anyone is living a poor life. All lifestyles become equally valid: a life spent curing three different kinds of cancer is no better than a life spent trying to capture the flag in Warsong Gulch or a life spent trying to accumulate an impressive collection of pornographic Pokemon cartoons. Once we say that there's no objective meaning to life, any meaning becomes equal to all other meanings as soon as someone esteems it.

On the one hand, it seems wrong to say that the fellow who dedicates himself to Warcraft or Pokemon is living an objectively equally valuable existence as the doctor who dedicates his life to curing cancer, but it also may leave a bad taste in your mouth to think that there's an X out there and whoever lives his life for X is living properly while anyone who prefers to live for T, U, V, W, Y, or Z is living for an inferior, improper reason. In the former instance everything is under our will, in the latter instance nothing is under our will.

Of course, I've simplified things down here. Perhaps there are several appropriate things one may live their life for: we escape the horror of having only one valid thing to live for and we probably escape the horror of saying animated porn is equal in value to curing cancer, although we may become powerless to criticize many lifestyles we may find objectionable. But, the main reason I stripped it down is to show the unsavory things one may be believing if one believes in an objective purpose to life or if one believes we create our own meaning.

Let's return to the question we started with: if it were up to you, would you have a universe wherein life has an objective purpose or a life wherein there is no such purpose?

The Importance of Variation

Original Posting

As I was sitting here surfing the internet for things I probably won't even remember tomorrow morning, my mind hopped onto a certain train of thought.

You see, earlier today I was busy writing something for a website I contribute to once a week (that sounds a lot more prestigious when I don't describe the nature of these contributions) and I noticed something during that time: I suddenly had a reawakened desire to study. I suddenly had a desire to do some heavy thinking about some heavy topics. This desire, however, occurred at a time when I couldn't fulfill it because of my prior obligation.

Then, as I lay here in my bed surfing the internet, I had another sudden desire to just start pulling books off of my shelves and begin reading. This, however, occurred on one of the few days I actually need to wake up semi-early tomorrow. Again, the fact that I should not spend my time studying made me want to study much more.

So, I began thinking about what this meant. On the one hand, it's evidence of the fact that we (or at least some of us, apparently myself being one of them) always want what we don't have. When I had to do X I suddenly desired Y even though when I'm free to do Y I often do not have the passion for it that I have when I have to do X. The question, then, is what does this mean for us and our activities?

The conclusion I came to is that unlimited free time (a state I happen to live in for the time being) results in nothing seeming worth a great effort because there's always more time wherein to do it. Because we always have more time to do something, we often do not find this moment better than that moment to do it in. There's always more time, so we're more inclined to put things off and pursue easier pleasures.

This conclusion led me to realize the importance of variation. By variation I mean variety in the situations we find ourselves in at different times. Some situations are better suited for certain activities than others (i.e. it's better to read a book while working than it is while driving, but it's better still to read during your free time than while working), which means we are forced to make value judgments to decide what we're going to spend our time on.

Because we grasp the importance of Y best when you understand that you can only engage in Y for Z amount of time before you have to X. When you have infinite time to engage in Y, you'll have a difficult time grasping it's value in moments.

Unfamiliar Ergo Awesome!

Original Posting

Let me ask you a question. If you lived in a high fantasy world full of strange and unusual races, wonderful creatures like dragons and sex-crazed wood nymphs, wizards who can manipulate the material realm simply through the use of potions and words, and full of ancient treasures, what would boredom be like?

I'm not sure what you answered, but my answer would be: the same as it is in our world.

Go ahead and phrase the question in different worlds: sci-fi, pirate adventure, supernatural investigation, etc. In all those wonderful and fantastic worlds, what would boredom be like? Well, why should boredom be any different in those worlds than our own? Of course I don't think anyone imagines it would be otherwise, they just imagine that boredom wouldn't be much of an issue in those worlds. Or maybe they just imagine that there's a lot more potential for excitement in that kind of world.

Why should such a world seem exciting, though? The High-Fantasy world seems exciting to us, I think, because it contains things that don't exist in our own world. It contains the unfamiliar, and that's why it's interesting. If we lived in a world where Dragons flew over our house everyday, Dragons would become terribly boring to us; if they kept themselves exciting by being violent, then we would find a way to kill them or subdue them.

And then the excitement's gone.

What fascinates us about things unfamiliar to our world is their distance. You've never quite grasped them, there's always another interpretation or another matter to think about. We can always butcher up our own animals and post our knowledge about them on Wikipedia, and of course we might find it interesting, but it won't produce that same fascination that something unknowable would have.

Would it?

Sacrifice of Time

Original Posting

Each minute you can only do one thing (I'm not talking about multi-tasking, what I mean is that one can only do in a minute what one does in fact do in said minute), and then that minute is gone forever. We all have our minutes, but they are only good as sacrifices, we sacrifice them based on what we do in that moment.

Every moment spent reading a book is a moment not spent playing on the internet, every moment spent writing is a moment not spent exercising, etc. This is where the concept of sacrifice comes into play: I have to sacrifice this moment to something, what will it be? It's a sacrifice because once the moment passes you never get it back to spend on something else, it's gone forever.

Most of us take this very lightly, as well we should considering that we would probably go insane if we tried to measure the significance of every moment in our life as they passing away (not to mention it would be a terrible choice to sacrifice those moments to), but perhaps it's appropriate to spend a little time considering this. Ultimately, what you choose to sacrifice your moments to is what determines who you are; we are shaped by what we spend our time doing.

People who spend much of their time on intellectual matters become intellectuals, people who spend much of their time in social situations become more social people, etc. This is the largest way we shape ourselves and mold our character: if you ever wonder who you are look at what you spend your time doing, and if you ever wish to change yourself change what you sacrifice your moments to.

What, then, does your day reveal about you? As for me and my friends, we sacrifice our time to the Void. We prefer to pass the time, i.e. sacrifice time to nothing more than the sacrifice of time.

Damn browser games and Warcraft.

You Know What Would Suck?

Original Posting
Time Machines.

I can think of no more obvious example of where science and human power would be more detrimental to human flourishing. Think about what would happen, if you will, if we were ever able to expand our knowledge and understanding to the degree that we can manipulate the flow of time itself, allowing us to create a device that would allow us to move backward (or forward) in time.

The first issue would be availability. Presumably this would be very expensive machinery, accessible only to a small group of powerful individuals. Still, the excitement and outrage from the public would cause a panic. 'We can go back in time and kill Hitler!' they will think, 'but we can also go back in time and kill Washington, or Newton, or Einstein, or Darwin.' People will be excited about the possibilities of undoing the horrors of the past, but they will also be afraid that someone could undo the great achievements of the past (after all, there's bound to be people who think the world would be a better place without some of them).

Of course, that will only be part of the population. There will be a huge portion of the population that understands what a horrible instrument this could be. After all, one little change in the past can have radical, unpredicted, and unwanted effects on the future. 'Stop the whole thing!' they will say, 'we can't control this! Maybe we can be proud of this accomplishment, it says a lot about human ingenuity to build a device that would allow us to go into the past... but at the end of the day the effects of our actions could have all kinds of unintended consequences. A simple trip to assassinate teenage Adolf could end with us all under Communist rule! Or maybe the Nazis win without Hitler! Or maybe it'll allow anti-Jewish sentiment to persist long enough for someone else to come along and do a more devastating holocaust. Too dangerous, put it away.'

It will not, of course, be put away. If the main argument about changing the past is unpredictable results, this simply means we need to increase our understanding. We cannot say we cannot, it's all a matter of effort! It simply means we need more evidence, more data, more research so that we can precisely calculate the effects of our alterations. Those who decry it as dangerous and unpredictable are passing up a golden opportunity. We finally have the power to fix history! It would be unethical not to use it.

After all, if you (who have knowledge of Hurricane Katrina) could go back in time and warn the appropriate people of the devastation it will cause, wouldn't you be a horrible person not to do so? If you, with all your knowledge of the Nazi's and their attempts to exterminate the Jews and create an Aryan world, do not attempt to warn people then you're no better than the god who sits back while these things happen! For the good of humanity, we must use this technology!

The outcry is still great, of course, so the government has to step in. The government will be asked to put a stop to all this, to keep the people who want to change history from actually doing so. Naturally, the government sees the value of this technology: all of their errors can be fixed. Brush away the Vietnam War, that didn't turn out right. Now that the War in Iraq is no longer popular, get ready to hit the 'undo' button. The public doesn't like it? Well, if we change it, the public won't have any knowledge that history's been changed would it? We were elected to do what's good for the people; even if the people do not like what's good for them we must still do it.

Then, in the name of what's good for humanity, in the name of human flourishing, in the name of living well, the scientist will study to make results predictable and a government team of planners will map out a series of changes that will improve the life of humanity. They'll go back and improve humanity, the ultimate triumph of human power and reason over the natural course of things! They'll control history, in the name of humanity's good of course, and that will result in absolute power.

"Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the [machine] controls the past."

We could all be manipulated easily then, all one would have to do in pinpoint the points wherein we as a society were least suspicious and most willing to trust authority, then make their sweeping changes. If they don't work, just hit 'undo,' and try something else. You've got all the time in the world to find something that works. They'll brush away any ethical objections by reminding themselves that it would be unethical not to try to improve the world in this way.

Then, we'll be powerless. We'll be utterly at the mercy of those who are able to control the machine. Even if we're powerless because our overlords seek our good, we're still powerless.

That's why time machines would suck.

Any God Too Small for me to Comprehend...

Original Posting

...isn't big enough for me to worship.

What is the mindset behind this statement? It's basically the declaration that God is not rational (note: this is distinct from irrational, this is more along the lines of being beyond-rational), and that God is only worth worshiping if he is not rational. This phrase, common among Christians, especially Christians dealing with difficult issues, is both a profound declaration and the cop out to end all cop outs. After all, once we no longer expect God to be rational or logical, nothing is impossible (perhaps this is what Jesus had in mind; Matt 19:26).

Can't wrap your mind around the fact that there is one God, and yet we have Father, Son, and Holy Spirit? Three, yet one? 1+1+1=1 (I've never understood why some Christians think it helps to illustrate one of their most sacred doctrines with an arithmetic error)? Well, that's fine, because if the Trinity made sense, it wouldn't be worth worshiping.

Someone had the radio on a religious station today, where the speaker was discussing God's planning and forethought and it's relation to man's responsibility. I believe he was discussing specifically the fact that God foreknew Christ's coming and sacrifice since before the foundation of the world, but that man is still responsible for killing him. The question was how to reconcile man being responsible for Christ's death with the fact that God ordained the whole thing. His answer: beat's me, but any god too small for me to comprehend isn't big enough for me to worship.

I'm sure I don't need any more examples, you can see how this maxim will basically allow you to believe whatever you want about God. The beliefs no longer need to make sense because of God's transcendence; anything could be true. So you see how this is a huge cop-out.

On the other hand, there is a decent point behind this statement. If God is the creator of our entire universe and the creator of all of our natural laws, then there's no reason to imagine that God would be bound by the laws of logic. If God created logic, then God would only be bound by logic if he chose to be bound by it. If logic exists over God, then we really ought to drop this 'Almighty' talk. If logic exists as part of God's nature, then he must continue making logical sense.

So that's where we seem to be: either logic is created by God (and the cop-out stands and reasoning about God is absurd), logic has power over God (and therefore God is bound by a set of laws), or logic derives from God's nature (and therefore God is simply following his nature, and the cop-out needs to be thrown away). This is an important matter; the answer to the question will determine whether or not there's any point in thinking about God (after all, if he doesn't bother with logic, how can we think about him. We're left to accept whatever revelation we happen to like best).

On Religion

Original Posting

One topic that has always fascinated me is religion. Maybe fascinate isn't the right word, captivate, beckon, entice. I am a deeply religious man without a religion (I consider myself a Noachide, which I suppose is a religion, but it doesn't have a lot of room for growth that I've found). I'm also deeply loathing of religion, I find it rampant among those delightful people who are both ignorant and arrogant. Knowing little, adopting the party lines of the day, then arrogant enough to believe that their lines are superior to any other belief (not that they aren't, simply that they don't have the intellectual right to believe that they are).

So, there I am, a fellow deeply loving religion and deeply hating religion. Of course I only hate the shallow religion. The deep religion, that is what I love and what I seek. The religion based in personal experience: the experience of God. That's the only religion that interests me anymore. Oh, and it is alive among many: there are many who experience God with varying degrees of intensity. The only problem is that the shallow infects the deep like a cancer. Once people have the experience they try to make it comprehensible. Comprehend the transcendent? That can only end badly.

This is why I suppose many people in this day are warmer to the idea of a transcendent "something" (the word God may be too dangerous for those who want to keep things nice and vague) than the idea of organized religion. The transcendent something maintains it's mystery, it's more difficult to make it heavy, humdrum, and safe. Religion, however, can quickly become mundane. That's why it's always fun to watch the recently converted with their fervor (of course, when they set themselves above others, they are the most irritating of all). They are still being infected. They're riding hide on the deep while the shallow slowly spreads.

Bringing clarity...

and falsehood.

It is that experience that both led me out of Christianity and makes it impossible for me to condemn Christians. It is clear that salvation does happen. Christianity clearly has real, powerful effects on people's lives. I only left because I discovered that these things take place in other religions as well, and I would no longer ascent to Christianity's exclusivity. I seek the thing that these people are experiencing.

But how do you seek it? Must it not remain elusive lest it become shallow? What told Augustine "take and read"? What did Brother Lawrence experience? Who communicated with Moses and Israel? What is the force that changes some lives while leaving others alone? Is it simply something internal? Something within man? I'll be honest, I hope not. How dull, it returns us right back where we were. With a desire for the transcendent and no hope of satisfaction.

Of course, with every passing day, humanity's desire for the transcendent is buried under practicality. And with that comes less interest in these matters. But still, I desire it, and still others do as well.

Yes or No

Without our permission or our input, we are dropped into this world in whatever state it happens to be in at the time of our birth. Life, with all of it's grandeur, misery, harshness, and absurdity, is now thrust upon us despite whatever we may will. We, however, have an advantage over the beasts. We grow and one day we may realize we have the choice to say 'Yes' or 'No.'

A thinking man must make judgments on fundamental questions, that is a duty of a philosopher, isn't it? We have an opportunity to make such a judgment when we mature and look at life; we get to choose whether or not we say 'Yes' to life or 'No.' Saying 'Yes' means accepting life, accepting what it is and agreeing to play it. Saying 'No' indicates that you have no interest in life and you reject it.

Is one better than the other? Is there an objective choice? A matter of taste? Questions for another time.

What do these choices mean? What are their implications?

To say 'Yes' is to say that I find life worth living, and I wholeheartedly desire to live. It says that I accept life even with its horrors and harshnesses. Faced between a hard life and an easy death I will choose life, not because of a fear of death, but because I have chosen to live.

To say 'No' is to say that I will not live life, for whatever reason.

What is more fundamental than this? The question of what is good means nothing if you reject life, the question of the meaning of life is one reserved for those who have chosen life. All things come back to this question; this question is the foundation for all other questions because this question determines whether or not other questions are worth pursuing.

If a man says 'No' what does he do? I suppose this can manifest in different ways. The purest and most obvious way would be a shotgun in the mouth, a slash of the wrist or something of that sort. Still, a man may say 'No' without having the courage to actually exit life. In which case he would be a man trying to escape life while existing within life. His life will consist of mostly of pastimes, because his goal is simply to pass the time. He does not embrace life, he tolerates it, and tries to keep his mind off of it.

What about the man who says 'Yes?' He will be the man who attempts to excel at life because life, to him, is worth excelling at. He will be the man who considers the way he lives his life and asks himself the important questions about life, because to him life is worth examining.

On the Will to Stupidity

To close your ears to even the best counter-argument once the decision has been taken: sign of a strong character. Thus an occasional will to stupidity.

-Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil

I have always found fascinating the will to stupidity, from the examples I found when I first became interested in internet debate to the examples I find around me in that world outside of the monitor. Those men who are of such strong (stubborn?) character that nothing can shake their foundations.

I have chosen Nietzsche's aphorism because thinking about the aphorism brought my mind to this topic; I do not doubt that there may be people far more familiar with Nietzsche than I who might have a more accurate view of what Nietzsche meant, but this is where it led me so that's what I'll write about.

First I want to talk about the will to stupidity as found in men of "strong" character. These men are not hard to find, they are the ones who are not particularly concerned with whether or not a thing is true, even to the extent of dismissing any opposing argument or evidence to the contrary of whatever it is that they believe. Perhaps a pious man who says science is only good in so far as it confirms his particular religion, perhaps a liberal man who insists that all who do not share his politics should be dismissed as greedy warmongers? We can find all sorts of examples in all camps.

There is great pleasure to be had in dismissing doubt and reclining with the notion that you are correct in all your beliefs that matter; disregard pleasure and consider the fact that doubt leads to an inability to act. Consider James' insight on this matter:

. . . the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.

James 1:6

Are there any objections to this insight? You may doubt that James had a good thing for us to put our faith in, but I find it very easy to believe that he was right when he said the doubting man is "driven and tossed by the wind." Doubt restrains us, keeps us from moving; the will to stupidity is the thing that keeps us marching forward, but the will to stupidity may blind us to the fact that we're marching toward something that we ought not march toward.

Doubt is paralyzing, but isn't that occasionally beneficial? If we're marching toward a pit we would want to be paralyzed, if we're marching toward streets of gold we would want to keep moving with as much vigor as possible. The problem is that we cannot always determine what we're heading toward. This is why doubt is valuable, and we should choose self-inspection over a will to stupidity. Doubt paralyzes us and in order to proceed we must examine ourselves and our surroundings.

Is faith then to be done away with, or does it have a place.

Faith, in it's purest sense, would be acting or believing without any regard for evidence one way or the other. Doubt, in it's purest sense, would be refusing to act or believe without any regard for evidence one way or the other. Naturally, no one deals with these things in their purest senses, we deal with mixtures of them. We must have a little faith to say, perhaps, that we can reasonably trust our eyes to get us through the day. We need doubt otherwise we are merely the disciples of whatever charismatic leader we happen to bump into.

Without faith we cannot move forward, without doubt we march to our deaths.

What of the strong man who does not consider anything opposing him? Well, fortunately for him he'll probably turn out alright. Chances are that he will cling to whatever morality he was given by those around him (he is not known for innovation) and chances are that he will be able to operate well in society with the morality he was given, pity if he was raised by Westboro Baptist or a suicide bomber, though.

What about his opposite? The man so open minded that he has no real beliefs? He is worse off. He may never march to his doom, but that will only be because he does not march anywhere. He makes no progress because every new objection or new idea sends him right back to the ground, paralyzed.

The strong man doubts all but himself, in whom he places all of his faith. The weak man has faith in all but himself, in whom he places all of his doubt.

Once again the golden mean between these two paths is the ideal. Have faith in yourself so that you may progress, but doubt yourself so that you understand when it's best to go in a different direction. The proper balance of faith and doubt in relation to outside influences would be to consider their claims and give them enough consideration that you can confidently reject, accept, or respect them.

Our Purpose

What is the meaning of life? If we were created, for what purpose were we created? Why are we here, what are our responsibilities? What is 'good?'

These questions have puzzled men for as long as men have been puzzled. What is our purpose? To what end were we created? These questions have been answered many times by many people in many ways. The meaning of life is to serve the Lord and to work for His kingdom, the Christian may say. The meaning of life is to create our own meaning, the Atheist may say. Perhaps our purpose is submission unto Allah? The answers are usually only satisfying to a certain group of people, and that is why people continue to search for their purpose.

At one time I had an answer to this question. My answer was that a thing was meaningful only so long as it was existent. I envisioned meaning in this way: when a man is alive his life has meaning so long as he influences the people or the environment around him. Once he dies his influence on the world lives on, though it quickly fades and unless he was a remarkable man he will slowly become more meaningless with every generation. Eventually, a meteor or the death of the sun will ensure that his entire life is meaningless. The only way to escape this would be by serving G-d, because G-d is eternal anything you do in service to Him will be forever meaningful.

Service unto G-d was the only escape from the essential meaninglessness of life and our realm. Not only was this the only way one's actions and life could be eternal, this was our purpose. G-d created us to serve Him and to love Him. However I find that it is time to update my views on this topic, for I am no longer certain that G-d created us for the purpose of loving and serving Him.

Certainly I believe that G-d continues to be involved in our lives and expects a relationship with us, however this is merely a factor in why he created us. The reason he created us is that we may live. Living, and living well, is the end in and of itself. We were given our lives that we may live, I am no longer certain that there is a higher reason than this.

Living well is something that all men can do and all men can not do. Not all men have equal grounds for believing the proper doctrines of Christianity. G-d never seemed to even attempt spreading Judaism, and the Jews do not feel a need for converts anyway. All men, however, are given life and the goal seems to be that men live well.

Living well means living a ethical life and doing what one ought to do with what they are given. We have our responsibilities in life, and then there are things we must leave to G-d. The meaning of life is to live and to live well. That is my now my conclusion, G-d cares about our behavior, but we we created simply to be what we are.