The Highest Pride

How can you describe the experience of standing up from your porcelain throne and seeing a long, unbroken mass that you created? On the one hand, you feel mighty. You feel like you're gazing upon verification of your health and strength: in order to keep yourself running you must consume and you consume so heartily that you can create that! On the other hand, there is something bittersweet in being so proud of something that you can not (or, at least those around you hope you will not) share.

The nearest feeling I can use to describe it is satisfaction! The kind of satisfaction you get when you complete a test confidently knowing every answer, or when you put in a day of work that has no unfortunate hold ups in the course of fulfilling your tasks, or playing a video game where you know precisely when to act and you complete the level gracefully without struggle. It's the satisfaction of having everything go your way and knowing that it is to your glory!

For me, the most glorious moment is when you see it peek out from the water. It is almost as though your shit has so much excellence in it that it refuses to go quietly into that good flush! And though it knows that its time is short, it strives to climb beyond the waters!

That feeling must be what its like to be a dad.

And if that is what its like to be a dad, then may no dad have to endure the horror of having to flush his own son. I'm not going to lie, it chokes me up a little bit. It makes me wonder: how could I keep this little bundle with me forever?